Gong through a breakup can be one of the most devastating things that a person can ever experience. We all know how much it hurts. Missing the ex tears our hearts apart. But is it ever possible to get the ex back into your life?
Getting your ex back requires wisdom and determination. But what it does not require is begging, groveling and looking desperate. Yes it can all be tricky, but if you follow this guide, you may have a chance to get your ex back.
Step 1: Unfriend, Unfollow and Stop Stalking Him or Her
No one, I repeat no one wants a sick psycho following them around or cyber stalking them. You may think that your ex would be happy to know that you still think about them all the time, but going overboard will creep them out.
By unfriending them on Facebook, unfollowing them on Twitter and not cyber stalking them, you give your self the chance to “breathe” and think straight. If you keep on following them around, you will not only remember the good parts you’ve had, but also the miserable ones. And that is a recipe for disaster if ever you get back together.
This step also will help you complete the other steps which would entail not contacting your ex and improving your life.
Step 2: Clear Your Head
You will go through grieving. You will cry, you will rant to your friends and you will eat that tub of ice cream. That’s fine. Allow yourself to grieve. But in the end of the day, you must not spend an entire day just mopping around. Just think, if your ex saw you right now, would he or she want to be with you or would run away far from you because you haven’t showered in days?
You have to know why things did not work out and why he or she left. Was there anything that you did? Or was it really something coming from them? By knowing the cause of the breakup, you will know how to improve on yourself.
Also need you need to now clear your head from groveling. Meditation can really help you focus on self love and self healing
Step 3: Stop Yourself From Begging and Looking Desperate
Everytime you want to cry in front of him or her, stop. Every time you want to beg him or her to reconcile right away, stop. Every time you want to call him a hundred times, stop. Every time you want to call or text him to come over when you’re drunk, STOP!
No one will want to get back with a person who is desperate and needy. The more you beg, the more likely he or she will move away from you and resent you. Have you ever had a wet shirt on? You may have loved that shirt but you’d want to take it off right? Same goes for needy people.
Showing your ex that your eagerly want them any time means you have no life. No life equals boring or unattractive.
Step 4: Set A Time for No Contact
I know you may tell yourself that yes you won’t grovel or beg, but that is not enough, you have stop communication for a while. You HAVE TO GIVE YOUR EX A CHANCE TO MISS YOU.
If you continue to communicate, even in a civil manner, chances are they will still think of you as the same person they broke up with. They may not be able to remember how sexy, attractive or funny you were because the last time you guys were together, you were breaking up.
Also, during the time of giving each other some space, you will need to take on improving yourself. You need to work on making yourself desirable and vibrant. You have to learn how to be happy again even without your partner/ex. Say what? Yes that’s right, you need to be happy by yourself because this happiness will draw people towards you. One of this people could be your ex.
The minimum time for a person to miss you and for you to bounce back to feeling unbroken would be about a month.
Step 5. Be Desirable and Vibrant
Do you remember the time before you were in a relationship? The time when you can be by yourself and be happy? Well, you have to have that now in order to attract your ex back.
Exercise and get in shape – you don’t have to be a super model but exercise can help you feel better because of all the feel good hormones.
Take yourself on dates – treat yourself, you deserve it.
Try something new
Have a positive outlook – try some positivity meditation and mantras. Appreciate life again.
Be in love with your life
Step 6: Text Your Ex
No don’t say you love him right away. But don’t be vague either. Try sounding friendly and casual. Try to put in a short line about the stuff you did before like
“Hey ____________, I hope you’re doing great. Me and Sally ate at Bistro Italiano and I remembered that how much you liked their truffle pizza.”
Or text them and let them know that you are now wonderful and having fun.
“Hey _____________, what’s up? I decided to sign up to learning Spanish. I remember I’ve told I always wanted to do that. I was contemplating if it would be Spanish or French, what do you think?
Don’t reveal too much in your text. Just to sound friendly and casual but also remind them that you once had something beautiful BUT DO EASE INTO IT.
Step 7: Ask Them Out For Coffee
Don’t ask them out on a date, ask them out for coffee.
The word “date” can scare them away. Just say that you want to catch up over coffee. Have a great friendly chat. Observe them if they are having fun. Then don’t bombard them with texts after. Just be nice about it and send one message saying that you had fun.
Don’t ask them to sleep with your right away. Let them see you and miss you.
After the coffee and a few more coffee chats, maybe ask them to hangout for some movies. Ease into it.
This Needs Time
Getting your ex back will be a journey. It will be painful at first, but if you really think that he or she is the one, then you have to be patient. I hope I have helped you out.